As I sipped my morning coffee, I asked myself what I could be mindful of today. I set the coffee down and drew the Justice card. On the face of Kim Krans’ Wild Unknown Justice card, two cats, one white and one black sit divided by a long sword yet towards the bottom of the card, their tails are entwined. Polarity is at play, which side is right? However, the tails remind me, there is a connection between the two sides that suggests one cannot exist without the other.
I thought of how this relates to my life, where I am mentally straddling between what I am doing and what I want to be doing. I think this is something many of us do. I am trying to find that balance, where I am able to do what I love and be able to do all the important adult stuff, like pay rent, buy groceries, and cover my bills.
I received somewhat disappointing news about my job yesterday. My hours have been cut from 30 to 12. There is lots of opportunity for me to pick up shifts, but I loose the regularity and the safety net of knowing that I have enough money to pay for all those adult things. Yet, I feel okay about it.
2016 is a year of change and I’m riding this wave.
I draw at least one tarot card per day for myself and today I drew the 8 of Wands, which when I’ve seen it before, it usually feels like a jolting spark of energy that sends me into a new direction. But today it felt like it was confirming a long held belief and I need to follow it.
Shortly after I read the card, I called a friend who I haven’t seen in a long time and much of our conversation had to do with inaccessible housing where we both live. An issue and topic that is unescapable in Vancouver. I have lived in the same apartment for the last 3 years, and count my blessings for finding a place I can afford, but for friends that need affordable places to call home, it’s a tough market. My friend is moving to the Sunshine Coast and I don’t blame them. I want to move away too.
Sometime later today I received an email from work, hours I thought I had as it turns out, are gone as of March. While a part of me is a little bit disappointed because I definitely need money. I’m also glad because this is an opportunity for me to maybe explore other avenues of money making. Maybe this will bring me closer to letting go of Vancouver and moving on.
I daydream of living on a small organic farm, harvesting herbs and vegetables, playing with goats, having a dog that runs large swooping laps around me when excited, and a small but comfortable home. Is this achievable?
And that’s something I need to tell myself more often.
The 8 of Wands tells me I’m starting on the right path. I am devising a plan. I don’t really know where it’ll take me but I’m getting ready to leap.